Perfect brokenness

 Genesis 2:18-24; Hebrews 1:1-4; 2:5-12; Mark 10:2-16

This story in Genesis about God creating humans is so familiar, we often overlook some details. And we read it in English, not Hebrew, so we miss some of the word-plays. The authors give us man – ish – and woman – ishah. These are obviously similar words.

But it is easy to miss this: God creates a human out of the dust of the earth, Adam out of Adamah, making Adam an earthling. The earthling doesn’t have a partner, an equal, so God sort-of clones a woman out of the man.

Finally, the man says, this is flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, an equal partner. Often translated as helper, or helpmeet, the word ezer in Hebrew is also used as a description for God. So, we have a man and a woman, bound together by God in relationship from the beginning, one-flesh. … But we know that perfect partnership doesn’t last long. Soon the tricky snake enters the garden and invites the couple to make a decision that becomes a symbol of human brokenness throughout the rest of Scripture.

… We are all broken earthlings. Some seem more broken than others. My Mom was raised at first by alcoholic parents, then by an aunt who never let her forget they took her in when no one else would. My Mom was verbally abusive, to my Dad and to us kids. We knew when she was upset, it was best to make ourselves scarce. After we were all grown and out of the house, her abuse of my Dad continued.

At the same time, Dad was passive, especially in the face of her anger. His Dad died young, so my Dad lived with the fear that he would also die young. I don’t know much about my grandmother’s life, other than she struggled to earn a living as a widow. And she prized perfection.

I once asked each of my parents, separately, why they stayed together. And they each said, “I don’t think your Mom/Dad could make it by themselves.” I often imagined they would be better off living in separate homes, or apartments, next door to each other. So they could be together when they wanted, and apart when they needed space.

Because my parents were broken people, we kids, my sister and brothers, all are broken. It’s true that there are no people who do not have some brokenness. Jesus recognizes this, of course. God doesn’t need our perfection, only our faith and trust, imperfect as it is, and our willingness to see each other as children of God.

… Jesus stresses this when he responds to the Pharisees. Citing Genesis and God’s plan for healthy relationships between people, Jesus challenges the Pharisees. “Since you have asked me, I say what God puts together should stay together. God’s plan was for harmonious relationships, where people worked out their differences as equals. Moses gave
you a plan for settling broken relationships because of your hard hearts and reluctance to see each other as equal partners, as ezer.

In fact, God wants you to be more like these children, open to receiving God’s blessings.”

… The letter to the Hebrews was probably written by Paul or one of his followers. We will read portions of it for the next several weeks. In today’s section, the author is trying to explain to Jewish believers who Jesus is – that he is the incarnation of God’s own self, appearing on earth for a little while. His life and death demonstrate God’s extreme care for us, even though we are broken, sinful, people. Further, we are Jesus’ siblings, his brothers and sisters, all beloved children of God.

It can be hard to remember we are siblings, sisters and brothers of Jesus and of each other. Disagreements happen, and we each believe we are right. Too often, we don’t want to find a middle ground, the common ground that can bring us together. Everything from the new kitchen color to the path to peace in Jerusalem becomes an intractable battle, with each person or party or nation claiming they are the most injured entity.

… Last weekend, I officiated at the marriage of young friends. At any marriage, during the message, I always do this little exercise with the couple. I ask them each to repeat after me: “Yes, dear.” “Please and thank you.” 

And “You’re right.” It never fails. One of the two will have a problem with that last one, with admitting that the other may be right, because it indicates that they may be wrong, or at least, not totally right. Family and friends always laugh at the struggle, because it is so real, so true about the reluctant one. My hope is that couples will remember this little exercise in tense moments and work a bit harder to find the path to a solution that works for both of them.

It comes down to respect, to believing that each person has value, no matter who they are, or what they think. I hope this week, this month, this election cycle, that you will remember that even those who are very different from you are God’s children, and just as beloved as you are.  And maybe, once in a while, you will have the courage and respect to tell them they are right, at least in one or two things.

Amen