Matthew 18:15-20
Many pastors are
tempted to just skip over this Gospel text, to talk about something easier than
sin and conflict in congregations. But, talk about it we must, because our
lives are filled with sin, and our congregations always have the potential for
conflict. There are lots of ways to sin, that’s why there are ten commandments,
and millions of pages of legal language to define what each one means. For
today, I only want to talk about the kind of sin that relates to communication.
I want to start
with a technical, language issue. There are two words in verse 15 that are not
in all of the earliest Greek manuscripts. One version of the text reads: “if
someone sins against you” with “you” in the singular, not “you-all”. The
focus with this perspective is that one person hurts another person. Bill lied
to Sue; Marcia gossiped about John.
Sin is about
broken relationships, causing one person to not trust the other, making it hard
for them to love each other. This interpersonal sin affects more than just the
two people directly involved, since they belong to families and friends, and
the sin challenges the trust in many people. But the focus is on the two key
players.
Some ancient
texts omit the “against you”, so the focus is on the health of the church body.
The text then reads, “If someone sins …” Now Jesus is talking about sins
against the body of the Church, against the unity of the community.
This sin is more typically
about the spreading of discontent with one or more other members, or the
spreading of differing doctrines. This kind of sin has a broader impact,
affecting many members of the congregation, or even many congregations. Sin always
affects the relationship between people and God. When a few people hurt, many
feel the pain, and many wonder about God’s presence in the relationship.
Often, sin begins
with a distrust or a disrespect of another person. Behind that mistrust is a
lack of trust in God to be present in the relationship. When that mistrust is
communicated to another, people begin to talk about one another, instead
of with each other. When this kind of unhealthy communication becomes
widespread, it is hard to stop.
… I’ve been
reading a novel about a shipwreck in the Atlantic in 1914 called The Lifeboat, by Charlotte Rogan. Thirty-nine people are crammed in a
lifeboat really intended for 25-30 people. For almost three weeks, they battle
the elements, waiting to be rescued. They also battle their emotions: grief,
fear, mistrust. They struggle with hunger and thirst, tired and cold bodies. They
form alliances. A few people must sacrifice their lives so that many more may
live long enough to be rescued.
People at first
trust Hardy, the only seaman in the lifeboat, for his knowledge and leadership
as he makes decisions to ration food and water, to keep the boat headed into
the wind to minimize the rocking caused by the waves, to stay near the wreck so
they could be found by other ships. But, eventually, small things he does lead some
of the passengers to mistrust him.
They begin to
challenge him openly, leading eventually to a mutiny. At first it’s just a bit
of quiet grumbling among two or three; later, it becomes obvious manipulation.
Finally, before they are rescued, Hardy is killed, forced overboard.
… In Confirmation
class last week, we talked about Adam and Eve, and Cain and Abel, and the
sinful nature of people. Since the beginning, sin has affected the health of
the community. We remember the grumbling of the Israelites in the wilderness.
We remember the disastrous leadership that led up to the destruction of the
temple and the Babylonian exile. We remember the way Jesus was treated by the
Jewish leaders.
Jesus knew
discontent and disagreement and sin would happen, and wanted to prepare his followers
for it. He wants our conversations with each other to be healthy and
open-minded. He says, when there is a problem, start by talking with one
another one-on-one, to see if the concern can be resolved simply, before it
grows.
Jesus next says,
if that doesn’t work, bring witnesses into the conversation, to be sure the
conversation is open and fair. Perhaps the witnesses could act as mediators. When
we have others helping us hear each other, we have a better chance of working
out our differences.
Jesus says, if
necessary, take the concern to the entire community. And, if resolution is not
possible, if the sinners are destroying the health of the community, they
should be cast out from the community, for the sake of the community.
… This model for
conflict resolution, for dealing with sinners in the church, has become part of
church constitutions. It is a painful process if it goes beyond the first two
steps. It is not a perfect method, but if done with Jesus’ love, it can be
useful. It depends so much on the attitudes of the participants. If all have
open minds, hearts, and ears, it is possible to find a reasonable solution.
Of course, we
should not restrict the use of this process to the church. These are wise words
for any relationship. When people voice their concerns when the problems are
small, it is so much easier to resolve the problems. When we have conversations
with open hearts, minds and ears, we can hear what we need to hear more easily.
We can best have
such conversations when we all keep our focus on God. The psalm response today
reminds us to “Order our steps in God’s word”. If we keep our focus on God, it is much easier
to live in community with each other and to not sin against each other and against
the Body of Christ, the Church. As a side note here, just to make sure we
understand what Jesus means, next week’s Gospel text is about forgiveness, 70-times-7
forgiveness.
Here’s a story
about a conversation that prevented an ongoing conflict in a household. The way
it was handled as a healthy conversation made it into a family joke instead of
an ongoing battle.
Dot and Art listened
to each other with open hearts and minds, and open ears. They married later in
life, when they both had some definite ideas about how things should be done.
One night Dot
made meatloaf for Art for the first time. As he began to eat his food, Art
asked Dot where the Ketchup was. “Why do you need Ketchup?” she asked. “Because
I always put it on meatloaf,” Art replied. Dot said, “You haven’t even tasted
it yet. How do you know it needs Ketchup?”
They had a
conversation about tasting food before adding a condiment. Art tried the
meatloaf and agreed that it tasted great by itself. And, from then on, Dot
always put Ketchup on the table by Art’s place whenever she made meatloaf. And Art never used it, until he made a
sandwich of the left-overs.
Please
pray with me. Lord, we are a messy people. Our lives, our emotions, our
opinions, all can get in the way of loving and forgiving each other. Help us to
put you first in our conversations. Help us to listen and learn with your ears,
with your heart, and with your Spirit. For Jesus’ sake, Amen
