If only …

2 Samuel 1:1, 17-27; 2 Corinthians 8:7-15; Mark 5:21-43

The introduction in the bulletin to the reading from 2 Samuel reads like this: David laments over the deaths of King Saul and his son Jonathan, who was a beloved friend of David’s. David mourns for Saul, the first king of Israel, even though Saul tried to kill him on several occasions. Though deeply flawed, Saul was still God’s anointed.

We have skipped over a lot of story between David killing Goliath and the death of King Saul and his son Jonathan. Saul began to resent the popularity of David and eventually sought to have him killed. David and Jonathan became fast friends, but that relationship was broken when Jonathan chose to support Saul over David.

David laments their deaths, expressing his deep grief. I hear him singing, “If only” things had been different, Saul and Jonathan would still be alive, doing all the amazing things listed in the ‘Song of the Bow’.

… I hear “if only” a lot in the Gospel text as well. Jairus came and begged Jesus to heal his daughter, who was dying. “If only” you will come to see her, lay hands on her, she will be healed.

Jesus began to follow him when they were interrupted by a woman who had been saying “if only” for 12 years. If only this cure would work, if only the cures that didn’t work didn’t cost so much, if only she were considered clean despite her bleeding. The woman reached out to touch Jesus. “If only” I can touch his fringe, then maybe this time, I will be healed. And so, her tiny hope causes her to try.

Jesus is aware of power going from himself to the woman – wants her to declare her hope, her faith. She told him her whole story, all the “if only”s in her life. Jesus calls her ‘daughter’ – the same word used for Jairus child – and tells her that her faith has healed her. This was not a huge amount of faith – it was an “if only” kind of faith, but Jesus gives her huge amounts of credit for it.

And in the meantime, Jairus’ daughter has died. He is screaming his “IF ONLY”. “If only”  this icky woman hadn’t interrupted us, my daughter would have had a chance. … But Jesus assures him. Let your “if only” be one of faith that she will be well. Assuring the family and the crowd that the girl is only sleeping, Jesus turns Jairus’ “if only” into fact. He calls to the girl and wakes her, then tells the parents to give her something to eat.

… As we have often discussed in the Monday Bible study, these two stories form a Markan sandwich, a story-telling technique of wrapping one story around another story. The combination of the stories gives additional meaning to both stories.

Jairus begins with absolute faith that Jesus can heal his daughter, then despairs when it is reported that the girl has died, but his faith is rewarded when the girl is alive and well. The icky woman who interrupts them is not only healed, but because she is made clean, she is able to rejoin her community activities. Jesus has the divine power to give life where it has been absent. The healing Jesus gives is complete – physical, social, mental, emotional.

… We are left wondering with the disciples, who is this Jesus? And what can he do about our own “if only”s. We are often filled with regret, thinking about our own “If only”s. If only I had taken better care of myself. If only I had taken a different educational program. If only Dad had seen the car coming. If only Mom had had her mammogram. If only there were different gun laws. If only I hadn’t married the one I thought would be amazing but wasn’t. If only our ancestors had taken better care of the earth, or if only they had believed that all people deserve respect, and so forth. “If only” …

… The Apostle Paul puts a slightly different slant on our “if only”s. Paul is collecting offerings from the churches in Greece and Turkey to take to the churches and believers in Jerusalem, who are being persecuted. For him, it is about trusting enough in God to make sure that all have enough.

Paul says, “if only” you give what you have extra, all will have enough. He makes it clear that this request is not to cause hardship to those who are giving. Pastors around the world say “if only” everyone would give whatever they have beyond their immediate needs, there would be no hunger anywhere in the world. There might not be any millionaires or billionaires, either!  

… When we consider our own “if only”s, we may land on regret and lamentation, as David did after King Saul and Jonathan died. We may wonder what could have been different, if we had made different choices. We may wonder if whatever happened was our own fault, or we may assign blame on others.

When we consider our “if only”s, we may look to the medical aspect. “If only” the treatment had worked. “If only” we had checked out that brown spot sooner. “If only” doctors had tested for that blood marker. “If only” we had followed the doctor’s orders.

When we consider our “if only”s, we may think about how much time we spend in prayer, and how many excuses we have for not praying more. The one thing God wants from us is a relationship. Let me say that again! The one thing God wants from us is a relationship.

When we have a relationship with God, we dare to voice or at least silently utter our “if only”s. “If only” expresses our regrets and laments and our hopes and prayers. When we trust God enough with our “if only”s, we believe they will be heard.

We may not receive instant healing of our bodies or resolution of our problems – though that does happen. But giving God our “if only”s gives God a chance to intervene, to assure us God knows and cares about what is happening.

Often, our “if only”s are answered when God sends someone to us. They may not look like angels, but they carry God’s message of love and understanding and healing and community wellness – or whatever is the “if only” in our hearts.

It’s possible, maybe even likely, that we are the messenger God sends to someone who is hurting, who has “if only”s that need to be addressed.

Fifteen years ago, I heard a song that is a persistent earworm for me. Brandon Heath’s song “Give me your eyes” challenges me often to see what is happening around me through God’s eyes. That shabby person sitting on our bench didn’t choose to have no home. That weeping person hoped their relationship with their spouse would be faithful and true forever, but it wasn’t. Those refugees hoped the people in the next country would welcome them and treat them with respect. “If only” I can see through God’s eyes more often! [Here’s the video] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5AkNqLuVgY&ab_channel=brandonheathVEVO

This week I hope you will be aware of your own “if only”s. What are you hoping for? Have you asked God for it? And I hope you will be on the lookout for the “if only”s of those around you. Are you called to be God’s messenger to them? Amen