Wrestling

 Genesis 32:22-31; Luke 18:1-8

It was a tough decision. Do we focus on prayer and persistence in the search for justice in Luke? Or do we focus on this delicious story in Genesis!? Well, I guess it was a no-brainer after all.

Let’s start with some background, in case you are not familiar with Jacob’s story. He was the younger twin of Esau. The brothers were opposites in many ways – Jacob was a homebody, and Esau was an outdoorsman. Jacob tricked Esau out of his birthright as the older brother – the right to the greater inheritance – and he tricked their father Isaac into giving him the best blessing.

Realizing he was in trouble with Esau, Jacob fled. He met and married two women – also sisters – and their slave women. At the time of our story, Jacob has decided it’s time to go home. He doesn’t know how Esau will receive him, so he sends gifts for Esau, and his entire household – all the women, children, and servants - to Esau’s side of the River Jabbok.

This leaves Jacob alone for the night, where he wrestles with his demons – his guilt from all his trickery. Jacob experiences a physical manifestation of his thoughts and fears and hopes. The wrestling goes on through the night. I wonder whether Jacob finally called “Uncle” at dawn and agreed to stop his wrestling, if the wrestler would only reveal his name.

In the morning, Jacob realizes that he was wrestling with a manifestation of the divine. We don’t know anything about the being who was the wrestler, but an angel is often suggested since angels are messengers sent by God.

Jacob is changed by this encounter. First, he has an injured hip, which is with him for the rest for his life. The wrestler gives Jacob a new name – Israel. The name is important, significant. It means “wrestles with God”. Forever after, Jacob bears the two names, Israel and Jacob, with Israel becoming the name of the people, the family, the tribe.

And forever after, the people Israel constantly wrestle with God. They are loyal and obedient for a time, then they get lost and disconnected, and God uses prophets to call them to return to the covenant relationship once again.

Jacob/Israel spends the entire night in this wrestling match. He is alone, except for this unidentified wrestler. When we need to make decisions, we often consult others, asking for their suggestions and opinions. But, when it is time to make decisions, it’s all on us.

I think most of us have had a night of wrestling, where the memories and fears and doubts fill our minds and hearts. This time of dread and worry can lead us to making decisions, or it can leave us wrapped in more dread and worry.

It’s important to spend silent time with God so we can hear the divine voice when we need to hear it, and even when we don’t want to hear it. For some of us, silence is easy. It’s comfortable, and it leads us to a fuller relationship with God. But others are more comfortable with activity, and sitting in silence is awkward, frustrating.

I admit I am not always good with an extended period of silence, but I have learned some ways to make it more of a good thing. When we are able to silence our busyness, when we can find stillness, we do less wrestling and more discerning.

So, here is one practice I have found helpful. It is a breath prayer. Breath prayers involve repeating a short prayer or Bible verse as we breathe in and out. The first half is said on breathing in, and the second on breathing out. It’s important to breathe slowly, intentionally.

The advantage to a breath prayer is that it occupies our minds, filling it with words so other thoughts have a harder time getting in.

Psalm 46:10 is a good verse to use for a breath prayer. “Be still and know that I am God.” Let’s try it – as you take a slow breath in, think, “Be still and know”. As you breathe out, think, “that I am God.” Practice for a minute or two.

After a while, the breath prayer fades into the background and it is possible to let God’s presence, God’s voice come in more clearly, and our time of wrestling may be over.

Another way to use this verse is to repeat the verse, but each time, drop off the last word or words. Breathe between each repetition.

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

In the end of Jacob’s wrestling, he knew it was time to cross the river and face his brother. He was astonished by the warm welcome he received from Esau, who wrapped him is a huge hug and welcomed Jacob and his entire household.

We all face times of wrestling with a decision, and we all find our fears and worries and demons interfering with our peace of mind. We can be helped by spending time in silence. A breath prayer may help with discerning the right path forward. A breath prayer may help us be, in God’s presence.

Amen